Part 1 has gotten pretty full, so here's Part 2! :banana-skipping-rope-smiley-e
Why are so many guitarist jokes one liners?
So the rest of the band can understand them.
Quote from: Kim on July 13, 2016, 02:59:24 AM
Part 1 has gotten pretty full, so here's Part 2! :banana-skipping-rope-smiley-e
Why are so many guitarist jokes one liners?
So the rest of the band can understand them.
I thought that was so drummers could understand it :dunno:
Quote from: Harley Hexxe on July 13, 2016, 05:00:59 AM
I thought that was so drummers could understand it :dunno:
I've seen some pretty stupid Bassists in my day, So I guess they had to expand the joke. :lol:
:lol: great one !
Speaking of drummers, this guy is in the wrong band...period!
Quote from: Harley Hexxe on July 13, 2016, 02:39:50 PM
Speaking of drummers, this guy is in the wrong band...period!
i love that video, he's actually gotten quite popular, doing clinics with other drummers.
Got to give it to him, he's definitely a showman!
He's a good drummer, I saw him a few years ago at the drummers festival here in Belgium. He and and Portnoy were going beserk on stage. It was real fun to watch those two.
The current thread about high and low inputs had me thinking......
Wouldn't it just depend on how open minded the groupie is? :banana-rock: :banana-rock: :banana-rock: :banana-rock:
Not music related but...
A woman was standing on the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off.
A homeless drunk stopped and mumbled, "If you're about to kill yourself, how about a shag before you go?"
This angered the woman and she replied, "Piss off you filthy old bastard!"
As the drunk turned to leave, he said, "No problem, I'll just go and wait at the bottom then!"
Quote from: Samuraipanda on July 15, 2016, 05:28:11 AM
The current thread about high and low inputs had me thinking......
Wouldn't it just depend on how open minded the groupie is? :banana-rock: :banana-rock: :banana-rock: :banana-rock:
+1 :thumb-up:
"I really need to turn my amplifier volume down..."
Said no guitarist ever.
"Four strings are three more than what I'll actually use..."
Said no bassist ever.
"I should play to a clicktrack..."
Said no drummer ever.
"This key might be out of my range..."
Said no vocalist ever.
"Your band's name is Bloodfart? That's great! You guys will really go places....."
Said no promoter ever.
HA HA That's rich Kim!
Soundmen are always telling me to turn my amp up though, that's where the Microcab comes in handy. I don't have to mess with my stage volume. I can just send the house a stronger signal.
Harley 8)
Quote from: Harley Hexxe on July 21, 2016, 04:13:30 PM
HA HA That's rich Kim!
Soundmen are always telling me to turn my amp up though, that's where the Microcab comes in handy. I don't have to mess with my stage volume. I can just send the house a stronger signal.
Harley 8)
Nothing wrong with being told to turn up!
It's better than the countless guitar players who turn down just to placate the sound guy and then dime it before they hit the stage.
Hey PS91,
I don't feel the need to be louder than everyone else, in fact, I like to play off the band. If I'm using my 3-rig setup, it's a pain in the ass trying to raise or lower the levels and get them just right, so that's where the Microcabs really shine.
Harley 8)
Seem familiar?
So true :thumb-up:
Yes :thumb-up:
it was a $100 gig, but yes :facepalm:
Music is like candy. It's best enjoyed without the rapper.
Oh...that one would open a can worms around here :lol:
What do you say to a guitarist to get him to stop playing?
"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
Quote from: Kim on August 02, 2016, 10:21:49 AM
What do you say to a guitarist to get him to stop playing?
"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
:lol:
(http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj118/casey71us/louderamps_zpsuflnd3bo.jpg)
Make sure you always have power to spare. ;)
I hate it when I go outside and there is F**king SNOW on my car...
:lol: F***ing snow :lol:
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
:lol:
I hear that when the rapper 50 Cent performs in Canada, he has to promote himself as 66 Cent because of the difference in the US/Canadian currency rate exchange....
:facepalm:
Quote from: Dante on December 31, 2016, 08:44:39 AM
:lol: F***ing snow :lol:
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Quote from: Kim on January 21, 2017, 08:42:00 PM
I hear that when the rapper 50 Cent performs in Canada, he has to promote himself as 66 Cent because of the difference in the US/Canadian currency rate exchange....
:facepalm:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jenny had a sexy dress
Split right up the sides
And every time she wore that dress
You could see her thighs
And Jenny had another dress
Split right up the front
But she didn't wear that dress very often
;D :thumb-up:
:headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger:
^^ I fixed your link ^^
Ukulele grind core ;D
Quote from: MarshallJMP on January 23, 2017, 06:14:59 AM
Ukulele grind core ;D
Want more??? :metal: :metal: :metal:
Rob Scallon and Sarah Longfield are by the way crazy, amazing 6-7-8-9 strings guitar players!
They are so crazy, look at this Harp Metal :facepalm:
Quote from: MarshallJMP on January 23, 2017, 02:43:54 PM
They are so crazy, look at this Harp Metal :facepalm:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6f4LCfYE2kM
:facepalm:
Quote from: MikeB on January 22, 2017, 11:48:02 AM
Jenny had a sexy dress
Split right up the sides
And every time she wore that dress
You could see her thighs
And Jenny had another dress
Split right up the front
But she didn't wear that dress very often
hahahahhah
Here's another one
Banjo Metal !!!! >:D
:headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger: :headbanger:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Rob Scallon is MAD.
Have a look to the pick he uses... :facepalm:
That guy is insane :facepalm:
Quote from: MarshallJMP on January 24, 2017, 03:57:13 PM
That guy is insane :facepalm:
Totally.
And his friends are worst. :banana:
(http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj118/casey71us/sickpedalargument_zpsloxkkdis.jpg)
:lol:
Quote from: Kim on March 02, 2017, 03:59:43 PM
(http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj118/casey71us/sickpedalargument_zpsloxkkdis.jpg)
:lol: :poop: O0 :canadian-flag-banana-smiley-e
translation: haha, that shit is cooler than Canadian bananas
(shout out to Chucky whats-her-name)
C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me; I'll just be a second."
Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.
The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development."
Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.
Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
(http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj118/casey71us/SoSimpleaCavemanCanDoIt_zpsetmzub6n.jpg)
(http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj118/casey71us/IllBeBach_zpsxllg1g7r.jpg)
Quote from: Kim on March 20, 2017, 04:02:02 PM
C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me; I'll just be a second."
Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.
The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development."
Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.
Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
This is sooo funny :lol: :lol: :lol:
Quote from: Kim on March 20, 2017, 04:29:49 PM
(http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj118/casey71us/SoSimpleaCavemanCanDoIt_zpsetmzub6n.jpg)
Ain't THAT the truth :lol:
Quote from: Harley Hexxe on March 20, 2017, 04:44:08 PM
Quote from: Kim on March 20, 2017, 04:02:02 PM
C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me; I'll just be a second."
Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.
The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development."
Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.
Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
This is sooo funny :lol: :lol: :lol:
+1 how do you come up with these things :lol:
Go Kim, +1 :thumb-up: a really good chuckle at the end of a very full on day.... thanks :wave:
Quote from: Kim on March 20, 2017, 04:02:02 PM
C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me; I'll just be a second."
Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.
The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development."
Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.
Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
...If they had taught this kind of Music Theory when I was in school, I would have ended up A Major!
Aww geez, I'd better give it a rest :facepalm:
:facepalm: ;D
:lol:
As some of you may have heard, somebody broke into Metallica's rehearsal studio and stole a bunch of stuff. Several items were missing, including the one-of-a-kind snare drum Lars used during their "St. Anger" album recording sessions. Fortunately in a matter of hours, the missing snare was tracked down and recovered through the fine detective work of the S.F.P.D.
A pic of the iconic snare is shown:
(http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj118/casey71us/Lars_snaredrum_zpshwjbmlkv.jpg)
Also stolen were Kirk's entire collection of wah pedals. There is a Reward posted for whoever has them to never return them......
Quote from: Kim on April 10, 2017, 06:14:33 PM
As some of you may have heard, somebody broke into Metallica's rehearsal studio and stole a bunch of stuff. Several items were missing, including the one-of-a-kind snare drum Lars used during their "St. Anger" album recording sessions. Fortunately in a matter of hours, the missing snare was tracked down and recovered through the fine detective work of the S.F.P.D.
A pic of the iconic snare is shown:
(http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj118/casey71us/Lars_snaredrum_zpshwjbmlkv.jpg)
Also stolen were Kirk's entire collection of wah pedals. There is a Reward posted for whoever has them to never return them......
That's a fake, Kim.
This is the original snare drum Lars used on St. Anger...
(https://www.picclickimg.com/d/l400/pict/122346479816_/Bellissima-Vecchia-Pentola-In-Alluminio-Con-Coperchio-Manici.jpg)
About Kirk's stolen wha pedals, I've paid my quote already.
Did you? :headbanger:
;D
A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by other musicians, decides to learn other instruments.
He walks into a music store and says to the salesman, "I'll take that red trumpet over there....and that accordion."
The salesman stares at him for a minute then finally says:
"Ok, you can have the fire extinguisher, but the radiator stays."
:facepalm: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :thumb-up:
That was a GREAT!!!!
(http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj118/casey71us/BadPickupLines_zpsnjzfgsna.jpg)
:lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
A local 80-90s Hard Rock/Metal cover band are looking for a 2nd guitarist. For real. I copied and pasted this from their guitarists Faceb**k post:
"People who come to audition with us just need to know my one rule: if we play a Maiden song, _I_ am Adrian Smith, and _YOU_ have to be Dave Murray. And _NOBODY_ is Janick."
:lol:
Well they are very clear about the rules ;D
Found an old pic I had while poking around for info.
The HotRod Mod for the MP-1!
A cap with a blower. How cool is that!?! :metal:
Quote from: Kim on January 04, 2018, 04:16:06 PM
Found an old pic I had while poking around for info.
The HotRod Mod for the MP-1!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
(https://i.imgflip.com/2k9f68.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/5grutwt.jpg)
:thumb-up: :thumb-up: :thumb-up:
Two studio engineers are discussing singers who can't keep correct pitch to the pont they can't really sing.
One says, "sure, the Mellotron and various software may fix pitch problems, but you just can't polish a turd."
The other quickly responds, "oh, but you can. Recording engineers do it every day."
Tough dude is talking about life with his van - which has a female name to it, and, while commenting on the van's needs, says..
"I was seeing this woman for a while, we ain't together anymore; guess she was a recovering lesbian of sorts.."
Dan Formosa, while holding a TED talk, "Why not admit there is a problem with math and music“c is broken", get onto the two brain halves, saying that in modern times we're taught that the right brain is the musical artistic one, and the left brain is the mathematical one.
He goes on saying that we do not have a right brain and a left brain, bur rather a right brain-half and a left brain-half.
And sums up: If you meet someone saying "I'm is a left-brain person or I'm a right-brain person", what you should do is saying to yourself, "I'm talking to a half-brain person."
In a resent TED show, non-verbal communication covered types of people.
The presenter claimed there are three types: Looker - 70% of population, listeners - 20% and feelers - 5%.
Lookers, well, looks a lot at people, feels comfy about eye contact, dress well...
Listeners do not like eye contact, dress casually...
Feelers dress comfy, likes to reach out and get close, has rich lip features...
In the comment section below the video, Mr. Keys said:
I'm the elusive taster. I enter board meetings and lick people until I feel comfortable. :P
Anyone seen Le Zap de Cocaine.fr ?
Nope, it's not about Columbian MarchPowder, just some fun vids.
The good thing about those is that the have mixed stuff, rather than the usual with on topic per vid.
Anyways, this one, at 11:14, reveals an alternative way of playing ac/dc..
And, 15:08 and 16:35 shows daring alternatives to our very own, "The Bar is Open"..
That'll show 'em.
(https://i.imgur.com/cse1gc3.jpg)
:lol: :lol: , been there a few times