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Lets get Technical > All Things Tube All about preamp and power amp Tubes.

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Author Topic: Part 1  (Read 22565 times)

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PrimalScream91

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #75 on: Time Format »

This is a longer one but...

A guy gets off an airplane in the Bahamas, as he leaves the airport he hears music playing and you can hear drums off in the distance. Everything is as he thought it would be.

He gets to the resort, and he’s there for a few hours and he begins to notice that when other music stops the drums keep on going. So he asks one of the pool boys:

“Man whats the deal with the drums, they never st-“

“Oh” the pool boy says, “Bad thing when drums stop, terrible, terrible thing when drums stop.”

The guy asks “Why-“

“Don’t ask, just-bad thing when drums stop.”

The guy just thinks “whatever” and continues his day. He goes to bed that night, and off in the distance the drums are still going. He’s having a hard time going to sleep so he calls the Receptionist at the front desk of the resort:

“Ma’am, whats the deal- you know, can you tell me- like- I’m trying to sleep but the drums keep goi-“

“Woah, sir. Don’t talk about the drums, don’t, you don’t want to know about drums.”

He asks: “Well when are they gonna stop?”

“Oh you don’t want drums to stop. Terrible, horrible thing.”

“Well, tell me why-“

“No I ca- I wont tell you why, just, it’s a horrible thing.”

So the guy gets off the phone and puts pillows up against both ears, and when he wakes up the next morning the drums are still going. He goes down to the front desk determined to find out why the drums haven’t stopped. He asks the guy working at the desk:

“So what’s the deal with the goddamn drums-“

“Oh sir it’s a bad th-“

“I know it’s a f*ckin’ bad thing when the drums stop, and it’s terrible and horrible! But I’m sick of it, it’s ruining my whole vacation. What. The f*ck. Happens when the goddamn drums stop!”

“Oh horrible thing-“

“I know it’s a horrible thing, what is it!?!?”

The receptionist looks around and turns to the guy, he lowers his voice and tells him: “When drums stop... it’s time for the bass solo.”
« Last Edit: Time Format by PrimalScream91 »
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MikeB

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #76 on: Time Format »

That's one of my favourites. I was going to do it but couldn't be bothered typing it up. Thanks for putting in the effort.
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Harley Hexxe

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #77 on: Time Format »

Q: What is the definition of Perfect Pitch?
A: When you throw the banjo in the garbage, and it hits the accordion.
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MarshallJMP

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #78 on: Time Format »

 :lol:  :facepalm:
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Harley Hexxe

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #79 on: Time Format »

Q: How many vocalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. He holds the bulb over his head and the world revolves around him.
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Harley Hexxe

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #80 on: Time Format »

Q: What's the difference between a Bull and a Band?
A: The Bull has the horns up front and the asshole in the back.
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PrimalScream91

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #81 on: Time Format »

Q: What's the difference between a fiddle & a violin?
A: Who cares, neither one's a guitar!
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PrimalScream91

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #82 on: Time Format »

Q: What are the three things a guitar player says when he shows up for a gig?
A: "What do I play, when do I play it, and can I run a tab?"
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PrimalScream91

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #83 on: Time Format »

Q. How many guitarists does it take to play Stairway to Heaven?
A. Apparently all of them.
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PrimalScream91

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #84 on: Time Format »

2 guys were walking down the street.
One was destitute. The other was a guitarist as well.
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PrimalScream91

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #85 on: Time Format »

Dear Abby,

I think my wife is cheating on me. I am a working musician and, as you would expect, travel a lot. I have been noticing strange things happening when I get home. Her mobile phone rings and she steps outside to answer it or she says, "I'll call you back later". When I ask her who called she gets evasive. Sometimes she goes out with friends but comes home late, getting dropped off around the corner and walking the rest of the way. I once picked up the extension while she was on the phone and she got very angry.

A buddy of mine plays guitar in a band. He told me that my wife and some guy have been to his gigs. He wanted to borrow my guitar amp. That's when I got the idea to find out for myself what was really happening. I said, "Sure, you can use my amp but I want to hide behind it at the gig and see if she comes into the venue, and who she comes in with". He agreed.
Saturday night came and I slipped behind my Marshall JCM800 half stack to get a good view. It wasn't long before I saw my wife come in with another guy. He bought them drinks and they sat down, conversing flirtatiously with each other. Then, after a while, he got up to go to the bathroom, and she started flirting with the bartender! She wrote something (I'm assuming her cell number) on a bar napkin and gave it to him. He gave her a wink and a nod. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My wife - the sweet little coquette!! At this point it was getting awfully warm for me. I was sweating. I could feel the heat coming off the back of the amp. It was at that moment, crouching down behind the amp, that I noticed that one of the tubes was not glowing as bright as the other three.

Is this something I can fix myself or do need to take it to a technician?
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Harley Hexxe

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #86 on: Time Format »

 :facepalm:
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Harley Hexxe

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #87 on: Time Format »

Q: How do you piss a band off?
A: Pay them.
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Kim

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Re: Part 1
« Reply #88 on: Time Format »

Dear Abby..........

Is this something I can fix myself or do need to take it to a technician?

OMG.  Winner!!
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