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Author Topic: Some memes about my apparent insanity  (Read 6155 times)

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vansinn

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Folks, as of late, I've posted some seemingly certifiable sick humor.
Rest assured I'm quite same. No need to call the blue wagon.
It's just my way of keeping my sanity.
Things are still quite tough, and I need my at times overly sick, black humor.
If I loose this, I'm doomed.

This early year started with a totally devastated economy, only saved because my parents sold house and transferred some surplus.
Then a trial in court against me. Then, in between the two court meetings, my old man died from cancer in ways I shall not describe.
I lost the case because of this; simply weren't prepared well enough for the second, final court meeting.
Actually, the jurist and the lawyer arranged how to 'run' me, because the jurist had to, because I was about disclosing something the system doesn't want out.

The case itself was a minor thing in itself, so that I got 'managed' was because of said disclosure. It wasn't too expensive on me, and I look at it more like paying for a training course into how such mechanisms really operate. Very useful, should I get into another court sometime.

I've spend 4½ years looking into how pretty much everything on this planet works, and what I've learned has left me.. questioning the sanity of the worth of living, to the point of often wakening up, thinking "Smith & Wesson, the original Point-and-Click interface".

Nope, I'm not at all suicidal; it's just that having lived likely 2/3rd of my life, and then finding out pretty much everything I thought about pretty much everything has been one big lie, has had a somewhat devastating effect on my mind.

Good for me I have 24/7 contact to Cosmos ;)
Been trying to make contact to dem extra terrestrials. If successful, I'd ask for a job as a deck mate with the comment "just get me off this damned rock!".

Right now, I'm piss scared of not making it getting my apartment sold before Deutche Bundesbank becomes the next Lehman Brothers.
If this happens, as it is actually attempted, it'll make the 2008 crisis look like a Sunday school picnic.
Do note: I've spend 4½ years on these things, so..
Last time such a large mechanism was successfully executed was the October 1929 NYSE crash - and this could be felt for four decades!

If you mostly watch Main Stream Media, which is pretty much all owned and controlled, you may not agree, and suggest I chill a Bit.

Well, we'll see..
« Last Edit: Time Format by vansinn »
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rnolan

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #1 on: Time Format »

Hey Van, sorry to hear about your Father, I lost mine a few years ago and it wasn't pretty either.  And kind words from Dante at the time were very helpful  :wave: .  You have some friends here, while I haven't met you personally, I count myself as one of them and also feel I have some understanding of where you are coming from (going to is another story LoL).

When I was a child (ahh my fav pink Floyd song) 10, 11, 12 or thereabouts, I used to catch the train from Newcastle (Australia) to Sydney (2 hour trip back then) to visit my Grandmother.  As the train went through what was then the western part of Sydney (around Strathfield for those who know the area), there was a bit of (early) graffiti painted (large) on the wall.  "Consume be Silent, Die" Quite profound and kind of wraps it all into some sort of focus (truism), for me anyway.

It snowed here this morning, kind of rare for Canberra and it never hangs around long, standing out the back watching it flutter down Led Zep no Quarter came to mind, the snow falls hard and don't you know.. the winds of Thor are blowing cold, they give no quarter... then I read your post and it came to mind again..  The endemic greed that is strangling the world for the benefit of a selected few I suspect has a way to run yet (the ayurveda (if you are into that kind of thing) indicates we are in the age of the merchant and it has a way to go).

Playing music has always helped keep me sane(ish), and I cherish the community here who share this passion, one of the few things I think is good about the internet, personally I don't think, as a race, we are anywhere near enlightened enough for globalisation and this degree of inter-connectivity, bit like Disaster Area being invited to play on Kakrafoon (http://www.p2r.se/music/disaster.htm), as the people there are telepathic and playing host to the loudest rock band in the galaxy gives them a break from each others thoughts (AKA Hardcore Screamo).

I hope you get your apartment sold in time.  My take on it is there's still allot of fallout to come, and allot of bubbles to burst, e.g. the Australian real estate market is so overheated, all unfortunately based largely on hot air and endless greed.
Cheers R
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Soloist

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #2 on: Time Format »

Hey Van & rnolan, sorry to hear of your losses. I too lost my father a few years back to cancer as well. My dad passed on my birthday which has made every birthday since a lack luster affair in my opinion. :(
However through all of that emotional turbulence I used it to fuel my song writing, my lyrics took a darker tone but I feel I wrote some of my best passages during that time. :metal:
Like you said Van at least you still have your humor throughout this period to keep you going. Everyone needs some type of outlet to vent when life kicks you in the nuts when you are already down.
I wish the best for you and hope it all turns out well.  :thumb-up:
Keep the humor coming, I'm pretty twisted so I am not bothered a bit by it at all! :crazy:
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rnolan

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #3 on: Time Format »

Thanks Soloist, and sincere condolences for your loss  :wave: .
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MarshallJMP

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #4 on: Time Format »

Well my condolences too. Life isn't easy and fair sometimes but we only have one live and I guess we have to make the best out of it in good times and bad.
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vansinn

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #5 on: Time Format »

Say what? Bond said you only live twice, and I have a problem counting my reincarnations..
One thing's for sure: I'm not going to reincarnate again on this rock; I'll try another galaxy next time ;)
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MarshallJMP

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #6 on: Time Format »

 :thumb-up: ;D
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Harley Hexxe

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #7 on: Time Format »

   My condolences to all of you guys. Even though my Dad passed away from melanoma cancer shortly before his 50th birthday, (many years ago, I was still in the Navy back then), I still feel the loss at times. I guess that never goes away.

   Sinn, no worries about your sense of humor, you've always been a little bit off-axis since I've known you :lol: With me, growing up in Greece has helped me a lot as far understanding many different cultures, including the Scandinavian countries :thumb-up:
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Peter H. Boer

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #8 on: Time Format »

Say what? Bond said you only live twice, and I have a problem counting my reincarnations..
One thing's for sure: I'm not going to reincarnate again on this rock; I'll try another galaxy next time ;)
:thumb-up:
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MarshallJMP

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #9 on: Time Format »

     Sinn, no worries about your sense of humor, you've always been a little bit off-axis since I've known you :lol:

That's true  ;D  but that's why we like you Van  :thumb-up:
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Dante

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #10 on: Time Format »

     Sinn, no worries about your sense of humor, you've always been a little bit off-axis since I've known you :lol:

That's true  ;D  but that's why we like you Van  :thumb-up:
Exactly what I was thinking. I have an appreciation for your twisted humor, van....no worries man. I am extremely sorry to hear about your father, as well as the tough time you're going through. Believe me, my own situation could be better right now, but it could be worse too... so feed the positive and don't give the negative any more of your time than it's already taken from you.

Richard: I don't know what I said when your dad died, but I'm really glad it wasn't something stupid. My sincerest condolences, it's gonna be hell when my dad goes too.

Kim

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #11 on: Time Format »

Hang in there, Bud.   :)
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vansinn

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #12 on: Time Format »

Well, I never paid a visit to a shrink; there are limits to the amount of pain I'll project onto other people..
You know, shrinks knows all to well what may reside in there. As one said it:
The human mind is like an abyss.
You get dizzy when looking down


Reflecting a Bit on some how's and why's in life:
I've probably been too lax about securing my own safety, allowed myself to be used too much, been a Bit on the naive side of things, and not taken proper action when I should've seen 'it' coming.
Which is actually quite usual mechnism in life: It's always easier looking in the rear-view mirror after the accident, but by then it's a bit late, innit?

Several mechanisms have unfolded during the latter years; it wasn't just the old man saddling up for the ultimate ride.
I worked for a state agency, whom drove me down with stress. All the notifiers were there, and I was simply too duty-minded instead of securing another job.
The '08 crisis (really by design) came rolling in at the same time, and I should've been more observative, and taken like a job in pr0n or whatever.. [SIC]
Worked for years for free in our building management incl being chairman, and should've seen how two members got together, manipulated me out, and created an atmosphere of the Black Sheep of the Family around me, which really hurt, given the amount of work I'd put in and money I saved for the complex.

Actually, the rear-view mirror can be somewhat helpful, if only for post-mortem analysis.
Thus, I can now adhere to Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab:
Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.

And, as Jason A. Richards said it:
Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you are about to make it again.


I'm now older, wiser, poorer - but with balls of hardened Russian titanium-reinforced German Edel Stahl ;)
Or, as it was said in a film:
You're a sick man!
- maybe, but sick man - with rifle..
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Harley Hexxe

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #13 on: Time Format »

So... In a condensed statement; "Don't get mad...get even!"

   I think we've all been there at one point in time or another Sinn, and some of us may still be dealing with the aftermath of those things in life. I know I've had my share of downturns because of mistakes and poor judgement calls, and I'll probably have more before it's all over.
   I don't let it get to me. That would only make me feel worse. I just do my best to get through things like that and put it behind me because things have a way of coming around in my favor eventually. It always does.
   I believe in Karma, so I just try to be the best person I can be, and all the B.S. that surrounds me eventually just fades away because it can't last. It all comes out in the wash.
   The advice I ever got was to just let things like that roll off my back and hit the ground. So don't let get to you either. Dwelling on the mistakes of the past won't let you move forward. You're a deep thinker, and maybe you spend too much time over-thinking things. Experience helps, but don't lose the sense of adventure. You never know, something good might be just around the corner,

    I hope that helps.

          Harley 8)
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vansinn

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Re: Some memes about my apparent insanity
« Reply #14 on: Time Format »

Mmnn, well.. regarding the thinking-too-much comment, you're right, Harley.
Or enough neurons, algorithms currently getting a fret dress. Janitor has been summoned ;)
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