I had some plans for this year, and the last couple that fell apart for various reasons: health, job, finances, whatever. I have a bunch of music that I have started and never finish, waiting until I get other things done, and many other excuses.
I had a heart attack about a month ago, and spent Thanksgiving in the hospital. And I have been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching since then, and I realized that I hold back a lot from doing the things that I want to do, afraid of what others will think of me. And I just never quite do the things that I really want to do.
I am old. I am overweight. I am transgender. I cannot play as well as I'd like. After some serious soul searching after that incident, I have decided that it is time to stop holding back, I realize now that tomorrow may never come. I cannot do much about age and what anyone else things of my gender, but I can play, and record and get better at those, and I can jump on my bike and improve my health but I don't need to wait until everything is where I think (or wish) it should be until I start living and putting myself out there.
So, here it is, my new years resolution, to stop hiding, and start putting myself out there. I will work on improving things I can change, and not worry about the things I cannot change.
This is me, playing a quick little Christmas ditty, and just being who I am at this moment in time.