Miscellaneous > Rants & Raves

Stabbed in the back? Or Not?

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rabidgerry:
Some of you may or may not know recently I was unable to play a few shows with my band due the fact I accepted a new job through the year which lead to me not having as much time off as I had in my old job.  Anyways, it was a big deal to accept the job for me, as jobs pay, being in bands do not.  So it was my decision to suggest to the guys in my band that we try get a stand in guitarist for those dates I could not play.  I thought that was the right thing to do to keep momentum going with all the touring we have done recently.

Anyways so we pick a guy to stand in, who we know as he used to be in a few bands locally and who we think is a good guy and we know seems to like us (as he bought our album and has come to our shows).  I take the time to train him up at rehearsals and he also works on stuff at home listening to our album.  Everything seems cool.  He seems to have a good enough grasp on the songs.  Then comes the shows.  He play's three shows and also does the last rehearsal before these shows without me to see how he fairs playing with the rest of the band in my absence.  I'm all for the guys having great shows, I wish them luck.  Then the short run of gigs comes to and end, and some video footage emerges.

What do I see?

The guy totally outplaying me any opportunity he got, embellishing every solo to the max, and changing how lots of the main parts of the music are played.

Needless to say I'm furious, and feel the guy deliberately has done this to upstage me.  Sure my ego is damaged, this guy tried copying me when I was present and then once I was gone went way off the script.
 
Am I wrong to be angry at this?  Should I treat this situation like an attempt has been made to steal my spot in the band by his over selling of the material and unwillingness to tow the line?  Or am I being paranoid?

I know how I feel and why, but I'd be interested in hearing from others to see what they thought. 

I trusted this guy to be "me" for a few nights and instead I got "check out how fancy I can play" now that Gerry is not around.

Seems like a s :poop:t thing to do in my case.  What's more, this guy has failed with his own band attempts, and only has a part time cover band to play in, so I figured he would be quite good at copying me..........I guess I misjudged that.

Feeling lots of anger and ego bruising right now, and I don't think I should, but there you go.

Dante:
Hmmm...drama...

Gerry, I don't know about this guy, but I do know that I tend to overcompensate when I don't know the material as well as I should. I play extra notes in solos, become much busier with fills where there were never any fills, over sing, and jump around a lot. The jumping around part is the only one I recommend, none of the others are conducive to a group performance.

I don't do it consciously, it's nerves. Could be what's going on with your friend, or not.  :dunno: Sumpin to think about

Even if that's not it, people are going to do what they want to do, until they can't. So, try not to get yourself in a lather over other people's actions. Remember, your reaction is not a reflection of them, but you. I had to remind myself of that today. If it were me, I'd ask him, straight up.

Hey man, I appreciate the extra flare, but can we play the song the way it was written next time? Simple as that. His answer(s) will tell you what you want to know. Just keep your cool, the guy who loses his cool first, has already lost the argument. Yer not lookin' for trouble, just answers. Keep it professional - tact and diplomacy - you get more bees with honey. (I don't need to tell you all this, but ....I feel like somebody out there should see it)

lettuce all know how it goes  :thumb-up:

bunkyloo:
I totally agree with Dante on this.

vansinn:
Yeah, it's possible the new guy is simply very eager and/or is overdoing it, but... he could just as well be going for your job..  And given how the music(k) scene operates, how many would not give it a go when a chance pops-up?

I think angry emotions won't do you any good.
You now have more busy times, job-wise, you arranged for a stand-in.
Don't get me wrong, I do understand your emotions, but letting partly go of a position is asking for potential trouble.  It's the jungle law ruling.

rabidgerry:
Over compensate?  Well this may be, but it’s certainly not how I would respond myself.  If it’s over compensating he’s over compensated a lot.  He also didn’t over compensate when we rehearsed together.

As for giving up my spot is asking for potential trouble, that’s BS with all due respect.  I want my band to keep the rollin’ and not cancelling shows for what ever reason, and these shows were in another two countries so really important to spread our name to these places.  So I see my stepping aside as the right thing to do for the good of the band.

I think I need to state that this guy isn’t joining the band or in the band, he was asked to help us complete 3 shows.  I expected the guy to play the songs the way he did in rehearsal, but he didn’t, and to me that’s a sly.  So my main thing is, he played them close enough to me in rehearsal.  However in his last rehearsal before the shows (without me present) and in the actual gigs he went way over the top.  So that’s obvious to me that he was doing what he felt was a better way to play things, and for all I know trying to earn my spot in the band………………….all of which was done behind my back.  I don’t need to speak to him about this and say “please stick to the script” as he likely will never be needed again, but if I did need him again I would full on ask him to play things properly.  Funny for a guy with such ability he couldn’t quite grasp some simple rhythms, never mind sticking in sweep appregios in my solos.

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